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Friday, July 30, 2010

Actions and Consequences


Getting ready for the christening of my second child, I guess I knew
that Lilly's christening was going to be special. Sadly it was special 
for all the wrong reasons. While Lilly and her mum took centre stage on 
the big day..... 
 
I sat in the congregation with my wife and couldn't take part in my
daughter's big day..... 
 
Of course, now that I've told you that, you've probably thinking "he's
had an affair!" 
 
You wouldn't believe the truth if I told you........ 
 
Growing up with middle class parents, like most guys in my teens I
pretty much knew what I wanted in a girl. Someone who was good looking, 
a nice body would be a plus too but being a serious and analytical guy, 
I guess the things that appealed to me more, where the things that 
centred on the whole concept of love. 
 
Love, honesty, trust and a willingness to work together for a common
goal, although in the back of my mind, I guess I did hope that my 
future wife would also have a high sex drive too. Sadly for almost four 
years, my late teens felt like I lurched from one train wreck of a 
relationship to another. 
 
If I'm totally honest, with my dad owning his own firm that employed
upwards of 30 staff, most of the girls that I dated in my teens saw me 
as a meal ticket. 
 
Being a sentimentalist at heart, I wasn't the sort of guy that went for
one night stands; I always looked at partners as potential wives and 
tried to treat them like princesses. Unfortunately, in most cases, the 
more I gave, the more they wanted. 
 
By the time I turned 22, most of my idealist dreams had been knocked out
of me by a whole precession of woman who felt there was nothing wrong 
with demanding all sorts of weird and wonderful gifts, but who couldn't 
give me the sort of sex life that I hoped for. 
 
I had dated some of the most attractive women in my age group and
strangely enough by the time I turned 22, I really was sick and tired 
of dating.... 
 
Meeting Pauline at a friends wedding, as fate would have it, Pauline and
I were seated next to each other for the wedding meal. 
 
At 5'7 with blonde highlights through her brown hair, Pauline wasn't
exactly in the sort of league that I dated in. in a strange way, 
Pauline had a mildly cute look going for her, initially the one thing 
that I did notice was Pauline didn't exactly have the sort of petite 
figure I went for in a girl. Strangely enough, by the end of the night, 
Pauline and I had hit it off so well that I didn't really care what 
size she was or that she wasn't the sort of girl that I'd actively try 
and chat up.....Pauline had made such a genuine impression that after a 
few minutes on the dance floor, I finally asked Pauline out on a date. 
 
A decision that I hoped I wouldn't regret. 
 
At 20 years of age, for the first time in my life, I had gone for a
girl, not on how she looked but how she came across. As Pauline and I 
talked, it was clear that we both had our fair share of relationships 
that didn't work out, yet as I sat listening to Pauline's hopes and 
dreams for the future, all she wanted was to be happy, to be with the 
man she loved, and maybe in time have a couple of kids. 
 
Money didn't hold much appeal for her, she wasn't ambitious and like me,
she despised the whole peer pressures that teens had to conform to. I 
guess I could understand Pauline's hatred of teen peer pressure. 
Pauline freely admitted that up until she turned 18, Pauline was 
exceptionally overweight and because she was overweight, she was 
bullied in school. 
 
Standing holding Pauline on the dance floor, at a guess Pauline was
roughly a size 12, she wasn't a stick insect, but she didn't look fat 
either. Taking Pauline out to a nice restaurant for our first date, 
Pauline was like a breath of fresh air running through my life. 
 
For the first time in my life, I didn't feel under pressure to make an
impression, Pauline and I talked like friends, we laughed, we joked and 
by the end of the night, even I started to wonder whether we were on a 
date or just being friends. 
 
As I drove Pauline home to a council housing estate on the other side of
the city, the only minor concern I had about the whole night was the 
fact that Pauline liked her alcohol. She wasn't exactly plastered, just 
slightly giggly. Standing on her parents doorstep kissing, Pauline 
stopped me in my tracks and purred with a teasing smile "you'd better 
go....before I do something that I might regret" 
 
Standing there laughing, I responded "and what might that be?" 
 
Pauline stood looking at me for about ten seconds with a smile on her
lips then pushed her lips to my ear. 
 
"It involves.....my mouth....and a certain part of your anatomy" Pauline
whispered then stood giggling like a school girl. 
 
Pulling back to look at her, I gave Pauline a soft smile then pushed my
mouth to her ear. 
 
"I'll hold you to that" I whispered as Pauline instantly purred "don't
tease me" 
 
I guess I had spent most of my entire teens dating stuck up little
princesses that Pauline's comments both shocked me and appealed to me 
at the same time. Standing at my car watching Pauline smile at me and 
wave, Okay so she wasn't exactly the type of girl that I usually went 
for, but given my history with women, I felt the change would probably 
do me some good. 
 
Two days later, Pauline and I met up and went for a drive as Pauline
told me her life story. Like most new couples we spoke mainly about our 
family and friends. By the time we arrived back in Edinburgh, Pauline 
took me in to meet her parents. We took her dog for a walk, then stood 
in a lane kissing for half an hour. 
 
The following date, Pauline and I went to the cinema, again neither of
us had any alcohol, our fourth date, the following day, Pauline and I 
decided to go for a meal. 
 
Sitting in a cosy little pub an hour's drive north of Edinburgh, Pauline
even asked if I minded her having a drink. Of course I didn't mind her 
having a drink and told her so. 
 
By 10pm, Pauline was quickly becoming drunk. Heading out of the pub,
Pauline and I started to drive the back roads back to Edinburgh when 
Pauline announced that she needed to pee.